Mary Turner Thomson Interview

The Other Mrs Jordan is a real page-turner, and a very compelling story, to say the least. I read it in one sitting and was fascinated by the events, the lies, and the multiple identities. It's also heart-rending because of all the lives involved. Do you feel that the writing of the book, the publication, and its subsequent reception has helped in some way?

Writing the book was incredibly cathartic. It allowed me to put everything into perspective and understand how he had done what he had, to me, and to others. It gave me a purpose when I was at my lowest point and allowed me to explain to those around me what had happened.

Since writing the book I have had very little ridicule, and more respect from people. I think it has changed perceptions of victims of mental/emotional abuse – and even if it is only a slight change, it is a start.

Interestingly enough, since writing the book, another woman has come forward who was engaged to Will Jordan from Nov 2004 to March 2005, so when the book comes out as a paperback (renamed The Bigamist) in April 2008 I am going to include her story as well. I am sure there will be others out there.

Most readers will have the same reaction when they first hear of your story: "I wouldn't be taken in like that", but as the book shows, the combination of charm, plausibility, and neediness won over several strong, capable women over the past 25 years. It's also clear that Will Jordan manipulated others into lying for him all the time. How would you sum up his power over so many people?

I believe he is a sociopath and therefore completely devoid of conscience or remorse. I believe that he has practised his art of manipulation all of his life, refining and honing his skills and using negative psychology to control people. He can lie with conviction and without any flicker of uncertainty. His real skill lies in the 'suspension of disbelief' – which is when he says 'you don't have to believe me now, it will all be proved in time'. As a result you suspend disbelieving him whilst awaiting the proof, however extraordinary that may sound. Then he piles more and more circumstantial evidence onto his story until it seems compellingly plausible.

The biggest problem the victims of sociopaths have, is that they do not know of the existence of sociopaths. I was naïve when I met him, believing that all people were basically good, although some people may have been hurt or troubled; I believed that all people had a conscience. It is not the case though, and I have read a lot about sociopaths since – indeed it is estimated by some specialists that between 1-4% of society are sociopaths, ranging from sleeze bags to serial killers. Will Jordan is not unique in his condition, just more daring and accomplished than most other sociopaths.

You have a writer's gift for observation and recall: the events recounted in the book are very clearly described. Do you keep a journal/diary or did you write it all from memory?

I had kept all of the emails that we had written to each other over the years, which contained a lot of information (including dates of when things happened), but mostly I wrote the book from memory. I initially included his emails in the book as his words were extraordinarily powerful and I wanted to show the reader how he worked his craft. However we had to have them removed because he actually owns the copy-write, so I had to paraphrase them instead.

Sociopath, fantasist, bigamist, CIA spy: all sensational, 'tabloid' tags, yet at the core of this story is the very ordinary need for the women to be loved and cared for, which made them suitable prey for Jordan. Have you found other stories out there which are similar to yours?

I get letters from people who have read my book and who have been through similar experiences. There are so many more people out there going through something similar but just trapped in the humiliation of being abused that they do not speak up, and it is really good that my book helps them not feel so alone. I think it is horrible that people have had to suffer this kind of abuse and then cannot even talk about it to others because they are told they must have been 'stupid' to have believed it in the first place. We all take things for granted around us: we assume the doctor treating us has actually been to medical college, and the taxi driver has actually got a license! However if we found out the taxi was stolen, would that have made us stupid to have got in the taxi in the first place? We all do things and believe the people around us because people like Will Jordan are not commonplace. It is not usual for people to lie and manipulate like he did, though it does happen.

You mention several times in the book that you're an avid reader. Have you found any books to be useful in your 'recovery' from your experiences?

After I had met the other Mrs Jordan in April 2006, I started to read more true life stories and surrounded myself with books about child abuse, battered wives, rape and disaster. One book I read was Lucky by Alice Sebold. She mentioned in her book about how she had moved to New York and surrounded herself with violence so that she felt more normal about what had happened to her. She identified that it was post traumatic stress syndrome. I realised when I read that I was doing the same thing. By surrounding myself with these stories of awful lives, abuse and distress, I was making myself feel more normal. I searched hard for a book about bigamy or emotional/mental abuse but I could not find even one book on the subject. In some ways that is what prompted me to write my book as well. I could not believe that no-one had been through it before me, and was astonished that no-one had written about it.

Finally, are you working on anything new at the moment or do you feel you have 'told your story'?

I always had a distant dream of being a writer when I was young. Something I never really thought would ever be possible – like people dream of being a film star or pop star. Having kick started my writing with The Other Mrs Jordan I am planning now to make a career out of writing full time. At the moment I am working on a number of projects, including helping a wonderful woman write down her amazing story of challenge and adversity. She has faced neglect as a child; three teenage pregnancies to her first husband; medical problems resulting in a hysterectomy by the age of 24; life in a woman's refuge as a single mother; battered by her second husband; raped; then made bankrupt. She is an extraordinary person, not least because at 40 years old she now totally turned her life around; has now won awards for starting a successful business and has even now married a third time, this time to a policeman who helped her through her assault.