Extract from Apollo Memories

If there's one set of shows every witness wishes had been filmed, it has to be the Sensational Alex Harvey Band's 1975 Christmas shows. The band were at their peak, dropping jaws wherever they went, and their Apollo homecoming is acknowledged as their proudest achievement.

It was the one and only time they spent money on a stage set - a huge present which opened to reveal the band. The show consisted of the usual Alex shenanigans, but the whole band got in on the game this time with the talent show, a sketch where Zal Cleminson tap-danced, Chris Glen crooned and Hugh McKenna played the accordion - and always won.

DEREK McADAM: After seeing that crap show in 1972 when SAHB supported Stone the Crows, I'd have bet my wages that I'd never go and see them again. Just as well I don't bet - the Christmas show is probably my favourite memory of the Apollo. I was in the front row catching the rose from the dancer's arse - my girlfriend wasn't impressed! Alex wasn't even two feet away from me when he jumped off the stage carrying a tray and sang 'Action Strasse' or 'Chef' - can't remember which! And I remember going home on the train covered in polystyrene balls. He'd been right, back in 1972 - he became the star he said he'd be.

JACK McDOUGALL: My neighbour knew Alex very well, and one night I sat up and listening to his stories when they came back from the pub. I asked him to tell me the story of Isobel Goudie. After a lesson on the history of witchcraft he said he'd tell me where to find the spot where the last witch was burned. He said he'd tell me at the Apollo.

So at one of the Christmas shows he sat down at the edge of the stage and told the witchy story. It was a sell-out crowd but I felt the story was only for me. He said the last witch was burned outside the Maxwellton Bar, and there was a horseshoe in the ground where it happened. Next day I went to the spot - and there was the horseshoe.

ZAL CLEMINSON, SAHB: That was the pinnacle. Everything focussed on that. We spent loads of time rehearsing, we had the dancers with the backless dresses, and we had this phenomenal stage set. Nothing was every better than that. It was meticulous, it was like rehearsing a west end show. That was the culmination of our choreography - you be on that mark at 45 minutes and pull this face, you be up the ladder on the hour, that light's going to come on then so be there for it... And it all went like clockwork.

TED McKENNA, SAHB: It was the warmest, most emotional audience you could get. We had the show just right, the talent contest and everything.

CHRIS GLEN, SAHB: It started off with Zal tap-dancing on a metal tray, reciting the soliloquy from Hamlet. Then big Robbie, the six-foot giant with the PA company, would come on with a leotard and a crash helmet on. Alex would say, 'This is an illegitimate son of Lord Longford, who was expelled from Eton for palming a jockstrap during a game of strip poker...' And Robbie would do the hula-hoop. I had to come on as Glen Benson, with a big cowboy hat and boots up to my knees, and sing 'Laughing the Blues'. Then Hugh would come on with the accordion and play folk music. It was rigged so Hugh always won it...

We had boxes for our parents. I sent a limousine for my mum and dad but my dad told the guy to go away because he hadn't called a taxi... I sent him back and afterwards he was in the dressing room when the dancers came off and changed. They weren't bothered at all and just got on with it. He wouldn't take any money for the limo - he said he'd dine out on it for ever!

Ted gave his parents earplugs, the pink wax ones you got from Boots. During the second song Ted's dad leaned over to his mum and said, 'They sweeties were horrible!'
During one of the shows Zal's guitar fucked up and after the show Zal's face was tripping him. I said, 'Okay - the guitar broke down, no big deal.' He said, 'It's not that - it's the first time I heard all you playing and you're going like a train - I'm overplaying!'
Then there's that famous story about 'Framed'. Alex was acting all innocent and he told the crowd, 'I never did nothing'...' And someone shouted back, 'Aye you did - you shagged my sister in 1971!'. The Apollo - what a place...

EDDIE TOBIN: I was involved in the management of SAHB, and I'd been involved with Tear Gas before that. I'd been working with some of these guys for nearly ten years by the Christmas shows. They'd always been extremely good - but I'd never seen any of them as good as they were those nights.

STEVE PONSONBY: In 1997, I went to the Glasgow Concert Hall to see the 20th Anniversary Tour by Lynyrd Skynyrd. My mate and I planned to try and crash the sound-check but arrived too late, and fell in with another couple of reprobates who'd had the same plan. One guy was from Larkhall and the other was a Caribbean with a broad London accent, wearing a Confederate flag like a kilt. We went for a beer and got to talking about favourite shows. I mentioned the SAHB Christmas shows and the black guy chimed in that he'd been Alex's next door neighbour in London in the late 70s. 'He was the best geezer I ever met, and so kind,' he said, and he said they used to jam all the time. I've met him by chance at three other shows across Britain. He gave me his address but I lost it, typically...
Anyway, the guy from Larkhall sat through all this and then piped up, 'I taped the Christmas shows...' So of course I asked, 'How the hell did ye manage that?' Tape recorders were the size of typewriters, and you were always being frisked to make sure you weren't 'cairryin'.
So he explained how he'd gone into the tearoom during the day and hidden the record in the ceiling of the toilets, then went back to get it that night, taped the show, hid the recorder again, then went back the next day to pick it up. He said he'd recorded dozens of gigs like that and he'd give me copies. We exchanged addresses, I sent him some Skynyrd tapes and I never heard from him again. Good story, though, and more than likely true...

And in the final chapter of Apollo Memories, Chris Glen from SAHB summarises what The Apollo meant for him:

I always had a sense of pride taking whatever band I was in to the Apollo. 'You thought that show was good? Wait till we get to Glasgow...' And the Apollo never ever let me down. As long as the people who were part of it are still part of rock'n'roll, the Apollo's still around as far as I'm concerned.