Extract from Jim Hewitson's Scottish Miscellany

Jim Hewitson's Scottish Miscellany is an entertain mix of facts, fables and nonsense about Scotland and the Scots. Inside you'll find a bizarre array of non-essential information you never knew you needed. So what plants gave the dyes for traditional tartans, where are Kelpies best seen, and how do you make a traditional haggis?

BooksfromScotland.com have selected three extracts to whet your appetite.

Scottish museums are wonderful places and, in the past quarter century, despite a terrible lack of financial support, particularly at a local level, they have continued to bring the story of Scotland to life. Gone are the days of the dusty old display cabinets and varnished atmosphere that made speaking above a whisper seem like some sort of sacrilege. The range of topics which museums examine is simply staggering. My experience tells me, however, that, despite the splendid new presentations, museums can occasionally be just too much for children - too much information, too many pimpressions to absorb.

For my own childhood I can recall being taken to the Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery in Glasgow, currently undergoing a long-term refurbishment which will transform it into one of the finest art galleries in the world. And what do you imagine caught my attention among so many delights - the Egyptian sarcophagus, the huge stuffed elephant, the armour, the ships, the swords, guns and prehistoric skelingtons? Nt a bit of it. my job was to stand, of a Sunday afternoon, and watch the bees coming and going in the glass-sided hive that was connected to the outside world by a tube in the wall. The community of Kelvingrove bees held me entranced.

Museum of Edinburgh, The Capital's History

Inverness Museum, History of the the Highlands

Shetland Museum, Lerwick, Aspects of Island Life

**Museum of Childhood, Edinburgh, The Wonderful World of Kids

Broughty castle Museum, Broughty Ferry, Local History and Seashore Life

Ba' Games are still found in several parts of the United Kingdom but the four Kirkwall ba' Games, staged every years in Orkney's capital, are the most spectacular of them all. On both Christmas Day and New Year's Day, a men's game and a boys' game take place, sometimes lasting up to seven hours. For over 200 years, the two sides - the Up-the-Gates (Uppies) and the Down-the-Gates (Doonies) - have battled through the streets. Each 'team' - a loose term for what is essentially a steaming mass of humanity - aims to carry, smuggle, run, throw, kick or simply force the handmade leather ba', through sheer weight of numbers, into the goal. In the case of the Uppies, the goal is the site of an old castle opposite the Catholic Church and, for the Doonies, it is the sea - normally within the basin of the harbour. So, around the turn of the year Kirkwall bears all the hallmarks of a town under siege with shop and house windows barricaded with wooden batons and looking eerily like the centre of Pampolna prior to the running of the bulls.

The scrum in the men's game can be over 200-strong and woe betide the onlooker caught up in the melee. Despite this, injuries are seldom serious - even in the heart of the Scrum. The rules are a good indication of the intensity of the action and the particular problems onlookers can encounter. They include, for example, the following:

• spectators must not climb on walls or roofs
• children must be kept at a safe distance (particularly those being carried as they are very vulnerable should the game erupt!)
• spectators are asked to give considerable leeway in confined areas as a 'breakaway may create problems'

In addition, the players are warned that there must be no unnecessary violence.

Tradition plays a big part in this street game. A Doonies' win, it's said, will signify good fishing while victory for the Uppies is a portent of a successful potato and barley harvest. A Ba' winner is selected after each event and considerable refreshment is, of course, compulsory. Expatriates come from the world over to join in the ritual but a women's Ba', first staged after World War II, never gained acceptance among the menfolk.

• Life consists in not breathing but enjoying life
• Aithnichear an leomhan air scriob de iongann
  • The lion is known by the scratch of his claw
• Am fear a bhios fadaig an aiseig, Gheibh e thairsis uaireigin
  • He that waits long at the ferry will get across sometime
• As wanton as a wet hen
• Is fhearr duine na daoine
  • A man is better than men
• An truir nach fuiling an cniodachadh, Seann bhean, cearc, agus caora
  • Three that won't bear caressing, an old woman, a hen and a sheep
• Nipping and scarting is Scotch folk's wooing
• He that's born to be handged will never be drowned
• Bithidh na gabhair's an fhogar
  • The goats will be deaf at harvest time
• Drunk folk seldom take harm
• Is labhrach na builg fas
  • Empty bladders are loquacious
• Cha sheas càirdeas air a lèth-chois
  • Friendship will not stand on one leg
• A cram'd kyte maks a crazy carcase
  • A daft nurse maks a wise wean
• Phòs mi luid air son a cuid, Dh fhalbh a cuid is dh'fhan an luid
  • I married a trollop for her gear, her gear has gone, but she's still here
• Làmh fhad, is cead a sìneadh
  • A long arm and leave to stretch it
• Be lang sick that ye may be soon well
• A midge is as big as a mountain, amaist