Wyse Words

Pascal Wyse's Wyse Words have been a regular feature of the Guardian Weekend magazine since 2006. Wyse Words is a collection of words that should exist, but don't, helping us define an increasingly bewildering world. Wonderfully funny, yet touchingly human, this is a book that encapsulates a spirit of the times.

Suckwit

What you become if you attempt not to sound out of breath during a conversation with someone you fancy, having bumped into them at the gym. Combined with the inevitable holding-in of the stomach, the overall effect is so unpleasant, you would be more cool if you just stood there and wet yourself.

Novada

Brief, exciting state of mind during which it seems as if you understand the workings of the US presidential election. You rush to find a water cooler at which to practise sounding casual about New Hampshire, Super Tuesday and article 2 of the US constitution, but suddenly it's gone. What is 'federal' again?

Chronanism

Watching a movie you already have the DVD of, just because it is on the telly; Googling ex-lovers; contemplating a cheese diary; starting a charity bag; experimenting with screensavers ...The special collection of vague activities that gets you from 11pm (when you were totally ready for bed) to 1.30am.