Maw Broon's Cookbook Limerick Competition

To join Ma Broon’s cookery school
Get the recipe book, ye daft fool!
Recipes stuffed with haggis
Give you a figure like Maggie’s
And will make all the men around drool!

A wife in the auld Sunday Post
Had ten hungry diners to host
And thanks tae oor Maw
Wur dinner was braw -
We a’ hud a grand Sunday Roast.

Makin’ dinners and teas that are braw
For her weans, and her man, and his paw
The queen of cuisine
That is hearty not lean
Is the sonsie Broon matriarch – Maw!

A celebrity cook called Maw Broon
Was known all over the toun
For her tattie, neeps and haggis
Maw’s a real domestic goddess
That she wins over Nigella hands doon

There was a young man from Dundee
Who always burned his tea -
999, whit a scunner!
So his fireman and plumber
Recommended a book by Maw B

Maw’s haggis was jist a braw sicht -
An' Paw speared it wi’ all o’ his micht,
As he said Selkirk Grace.
Juice sprayed in his face
An’ he swore they’d a’ turned aff the licht

There once was a wumman called Broon
Who was the talk of the toon
Her pies were a delight
On a Saturday night
On plates with chips and broon sauce all aroond

Maw Broon dishes oot a delight -
A platefu’ of pies: whit a sight!
But tho’ it’s a treat
At 10 Glebe Street
She’s gi’en the health polis a fright...